Sunday, June 1, 2008
Hello again. I just wanted to say Katharine that I am frustrated. I never expected the pain to last this long. Sometimes it hurts so much I just want to cry. I'm not one to really bare my feelings to people so you just have to bear with me on this. I have been really stressed with some personal things going on in my life and am having a hard time dealing with them. My 16 year old has been skipping a lot of school and has missed over 30 days of school and now he probably won't be getting any of his credits for this year. He probably won't graduate with his class if he graduates at all. I keep telling him he will regret this some day but he just won't listen to me. He's a bright kid and has a lot to offer but doesn't want to bother with school. He could go to summer school but he still won't have enough credits to graduate. On top of this we are planning renovations to the house and I have a garden to finish planting (I grow and preserve a lot of foods so it's a lot of work). Lately I've had on average 3 doctor appointments a week and I don't drive so my husband has to take time off work to take me to there. I like keeping busy cause it keeps my mind off the pain but when I overdo it the pain just gets worse, thus my frustration. Now, my doctor wants me to do physical therapy a few days a week and I know it's for my benefit but I'm so tired that I just need a break. I think overwhelmed is a better word for how I'm feeling right now. I know things are going to get better. I just wish it would hurry the heck up. My husband and I hooked up the boat and went fishing today so that was a nice reprieve but it was so cold that my face didn't like it and I ended up with my face covered up most of the day. We did catch a lot of fish mostly catfish and perch (we catch and release by the way). My 17 year old son went to his prom last night all decked out and looking pretty spiffy with his date. I was so proud of him. But at the same time realized that my baby isn't a baby anymore. He's going to be 18 on Wednesday. Any of you who have young children you really need to enjoy them while you can because the time flies and before you know it they're all grown up. So, anyway thanks for listening to me prattle on but I'm going to call it a night. Til' next time...
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4 comments:
Heather it's good that you were able to put so much feeling into your writing and I hope some of the weight feels lighter now you've done that!
You need to make time for physical and emotional rest! Wow ... you have so much going on around you at this time, and you need to be focused on healing, and as you want to heal quickly, you really need to be spending plenty of time resting and being cared for.
Please take good care and also 'let it all out' in your blog anytime you wish! {{{([[[ HUGS ]]])}}}
Hi Heather,
I'm really glad you are posting so regularly. I love checking and seeing something new. =) I'm so glad that you have us blogger friends to help you through this time, if we can. Let me just say, this last week has been HUGElY challenging, and with basically nothing else going on, I've cried at least 3 times! The only reason I stop is because it creates so much congestion! It would be SO much harder to deal with this whole situation if I had other things to worry about. So, you just take your time and worry about you. Try to relax as much as you can. I try visualizing my low stress future as much as I can and that seems to help. Please know that I am thinking about you all the time and that knowing you are experiencing some of this at the same time that I'm going through my hard times has been immensely comforting to me, if that makes any sense. (haha I don't take pleasure in your pain or anything! It's just conforting to know that I am doing this with someone else). Girl, you will get through this. =)
Thanks guys I really needed that. I do feel better now that I've talked about it. Holski you're right; it does feel good knowing other people know how I feel right now. So, I'll just keep on keeping on. I know things are going to get better.
I'm so sorry to hear of the struggles you're going through right now, Heather. Have a good cry, let it out, scream & holler (albeit with clenched teeth) getting it out always feels so much better. Doesn't fix anything, but lets the pressure off before it blows. Thank you for trusting us enough to share.
I can't imagine what it's like to have to watch your child make some poor choices and feel voiceless. Doesn't make anything easier and I don't want to come off sounding trite so I'll offer no 'rainbows', but please don't ever feel bad for venting.
As this is a bit belated from when you posted, I hope this finds you, if not feeling better, at least feeling like life is a little more managable. Will be checking in on you soon :)
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